Advice On Tactical Writing--POV

A good friend, Randy Ingermanson has given me permission to share this article with you on Point of View (POV) from his Advanced Fiction Writing blog. I believe that hearing information in a variety of ways helps an author learn even more. What one person says may not sink in, but when someone else says it, it makes sense. So I want to share this excellent information on one of the most difficult techniques to learn---using POV effectively.

Randy says:
Last month, I talked about the supreme importance of tactical writing. You can foul up the strategic and logistical aspects of your writing and you will survive. But if your tactical writing doesn't work, then you are in deep, deep trouble.

For the next few months, I'd like to talk more about tactical writing.

Tactical writing is about writing great scenes. The scene is the fundamental unit of fiction. If you can write a great scene, over and over again, then you can write a pretty good novel, even if the scenes don't actually hang together all that well.

Why is that? Because a scene is experienced RIGHT NOW. The previous scene was experienced a while ago and is no longer fresh in the reader's mind. The following scene hasn't been read yet.

So when your reader is experiencing your novel, whatever scene she is reading is the absolute most important scene to her. If that scene is good, then your reader believes the novel is good. If that scene stinks, then your reader believes the novel is skank.

The first thing you need to get right when writing a scene is this: Who is the viewpoint character?

Let me define what we mean by that.

You must choose one character that the reader will identify with throughout the entire scene. That character is called the viewpoint character (or sometimes the point-of-view character, often abbreviated POV character).

During the course of the scene, a major part of your goal is to persuade your reader that she IS the POV character.

That is no small trick. Your reader might be a rich, female, teenage Caucasian, while your POV character might be a poor, male, century-old Wookie. How are you going to persuade the reader that she IS the POV character?

More importantly, WHY would you want to do that?

The answer is simple. You want to give your reader a special kind of experience while reading. I call this experience a "Powerful Emotional Experience," and I have long been convinced that this is the main reason your reader reads.

To give your reader a Powerful Emotional Experience, you have to create an emotive context. That means getting inside one character to the exclusion of all others.

Why be exclusive? Why not let your reader share the experience with all the characters in the scene?

Because that's how people experience life. There are two kinds of people in the world -- you and everyone else. You experience yourself from inside your own skin, inside your eyes, inside your ears. You experience everyone else as outside your skin, outside
your eyes, outside your ears.

Your reader knows this perfectly well. When you insert your reader into your Storyworld, there is only one way to do so which will feel natural: Inserting your reader inside the skin and eyes and ears of exactly one of the characters.

The POV character will normally be a person. Rarely, it will be an animal. More rarely a plant. Even more rarely, an inanimate object.

Beginning writers often want to make their POV character some omniscient god-like person who sees into all minds. That's a mistake, because your reader is not omniscient. (I am willing to bet money on this.) Making your POV character omniscient will feel unnatural.

So why do some beginning writers want to use an omniscient point of view? Usually, it's because they have read a good novel that used omniscient POV. They assume the novel was good because it used omniscient POV. In reality, the novel was good EVEN THOUGH it used omniscient POV.

Some writers will even argue, "Charles Dickens wrote in omniscient POV, so I can too."

When someone takes this line with me, I sometimes say, "When you can write fiction one tenth as well as Charlie, then you can use omniscient POV." Which is a little unkind, but it's probably nicer than sticking a fork in their eye.

On days when I'm feeling a bit more patient, I observe that great writers of the past made many stupid mistakes, such as beating their wives, pickling their livers in alcohol, getting killed in duels, and using omniscient POV.

All of these are frowned on today.

Great writers of the past were great writers in spite of the mistakes they made, not because of them. It is widely agreed nowadays that the goal of the fiction writer is to make the reader identify with one particular character in each scene.
It's perfectly fine, of course, to make the reader identify with different characters in different scenes. Most modern novelists have several POV characters in each book, switching to a different one with each new scene.

That works very well. The only hazard is that if your scenes are too short, your reader will start feeling jerked around.

What doesn't work is "head-hopping" -- putting your reader inside the head of first one character, then another, then another, all within the same scene. Then the reader doesn't know whom to identify with.

Yes, there are some writers these days who still practice head-hopping. They get away with it because they are good storytellers whose strengths outweigh their weaknesses. But their editors wish they would stop.

It's a simple tactic -- choosing one POV character for each scene. Simple, yet powerful. All the other tactics we'll discuss in coming months depend on this one.

_______________________
Permission is granted to use any of the articles in this e-zine in your own e-zine or web site from award-winning novelist Randy Ingermanson, "the Snowflake Guy," publishes the Advanced Fiction Writing E-zine, with more than 13,500 readers, every month. If you want to learn the craft and marketing of fiction, AND make your writing more valuable to editors, and have FUN doing it, visit http://www.AdvancedFictionWriting.com .

Deep POV - Part II - Guest Post

Jennifer Hudson Taylor's blog on writing offered you a look at Deep POV. This technique is significant in creating characters who are three-dimensional and believable. The process shares their deepest thoughts and emotion and helps the reader relate in a personal way to the character. Jennifer names a few techniques that will help define your character and make him different from others in your book. You will want to focus on these points, especially for your main characters and any important secondary characters that play a significant role in your novel.

A. Create a Character Sketch
Do this for all your main characters and any significant secondary characters. This will give you a reference to go back to when months later you are wrapping up the ending. It will also give you a guideline to go by when you're in the editing stage and trying to determine if your critique partner is right about your hero acting out of character in a pivotal scene.

You can't write deep POV if you don't know every intimate detail of your characters. The people in your book are not just some fictional characters you created for the purpose of writing a story to entertain and inspire readers. They are real. Somewhere out there is a lonely FBI agent who has become hard and cold with the ugliness of life. He's built the walls of protection to shut out any pain, and in the process, all the people who could have loved him through the pain.

For every character you create, there is someone in this world who is going to identify with your character's life because they are living it. These characters are real, because real people are out there in a similar situation. When we create our characters, we need to know who they are, their goals, what motivates them, how they will react to conflict and overcome it.

B. Speech Patterns
Your characters need to have a certain speech pattern that will distinguish them from the rest of your characters. How a person talks and the way they phrase his words reveals a lot about a person. Take into consideration their geographic location, ethnicity, education, and culture. You can definitely tell a northerner from a southerner by listening to them talk.

Then break down your character's speech even further. If he’s northern, how will his speech differ from other northerners? Is he likely to be considerate of someone's feelings before he speaks, or just blurt out whatever comes to mind? Will he tease people? Tell jokes? Or recite famous quotations or poetry?

C. Thought Patterns
A character's thoughts reveal more about them than dialogue or actions. This narrative is where a reader will learn what motivates a character. Some people are day dreamers. Others are analyzers who question everything. Some are pessimistic, while others are optimistic. Choose the most likely thought pattern that matches your character’s personality, speech, and actions.

In Christian fiction, you can show the beginning stages of a character’s spiritual growth through their thoughts. Perhaps your character will ponder a sermon, a prayer they heard, a verse, or something someone said. While there is no outward change in his behavior and speech, the reader will see changes in the heart as he develops a conscience, experiences caring thoughts for others, and feelings he isn’t used to. Before this character can act on his change of heart, you must first give the reader a glimpse of the upcoming change so you don’t jolt your reader out of the story by later having him do something that is out of character for him. Change is a process, and you have to show the process in the story.

My thoughts
By distinguishing a character's personality as well as background, speech and thought patterns, you will be much more able to bring your characters to life and to arouse a deeper interest from your reader. Our goal as a writer is to create a page-turner and this only happens when reader and characters connect. This will help you do that.

Deep POV - Part I - Guest Post

Jennifer Hudson Taylor's Blog on writing caught my eye, and I asked her if I could share a little from her entries. Since I'v been blogging on POV, adding thoughts on Deep POV seems to be appropriate. Jennifer is a new link I've added to the blog's links so you may want to check it out.

Although the technique of deep POV refers to point of view, the focus tends to be on emotion and three-dimensional characterization because it takes you into the internal workings of a character's heart and mind.

Although some of this is a repeat of things I said previously, you will hopefully find a few new ideas and Jennfer's take on the Deep POV technique. Here are her thoughts:

What is Deep POV?
Deep POV is telling a story in such a way that the reader's emotions are engaged in the character's thoughts and perspective. The reader essentially sees, hears, speaks, tastes, and feels what the character experiences. The character is real to the reader. And the reader cares about the character. The reader becomes part of the story and connects to the character.

E. Why Use Deep POV?
Using deep POV allows the reader to experience the story, instead having someone tell them the story. It ties emotion to action and reactions, and connects the current action to what the character is thinking. In deep POV, a character doesn't hide secrets from himself.

Choosing the POV Character

A. Always Begin in the Main Character's POV
Readers usually identify with the first character as the main character. If you don't do this, readers feel disconnected from your characters and have a harder time feeling engaged in the story. They may feel lost and confused. If they get too frustrated, they won't finish your book, recommend your book, or read future books you’ve written.

B. Using Multiple POVs
You can write in more than one POV, but never head-hop. Set a section break before switching POV characters. A general rule is to keep your POV characters to no more than 4-5 different characters throughout the whole book. Make sure your main character has the most POV scenes.

C. Choose the Character with the Most Risk
When you sit down to write a new scene, consider your characters’ goals, motivations, and conflict (GMC). Decide who in the scene will have the most risk. This is whose POV you should use in this particular scene.

D. Remember Your Readership
Choose a character your target audience will best understand. For instance, if you are targeting a junior audience, your main character wouldn't be a 40-year-old male. You would probably choose a 12-year-old.

E. Using Secondary Characters
There are limited times you might want to write a scene in a secondary character's POV. It could be to reveal the villain's goal or motive, or when a secondary character is playing a pivotal role in the story.***

***A comment from me: Unless a character has a significant role, such as a villain who is a large part of the story with scenes of his/her own, POV is not used by these characters. Stories sometimes have multiple main characters, and then it is appropriate to be in their POV for their scenes, especially when not with another main character. Normally a true secondary character's POV is not used. Remember, too many POV characters can weaken the main story and draw from readers' pleasure as
they get to know the focus characters.
More on Deep POV to come.

Selecting the POV Character

You know about POV styles and you can make decisions whether to use first or third singular or multiple POV in a story, but with so many choices, how do you decide which character should “own” which scenes. Which character needs to be the focus and can provide the reader with the more satisfying read.

As you develop your plot, you will begin to know the characters and what is going to happen. You know that each scene must present important information and must move the story forward in some way. This means that what happens will have an impact on the major characters of the story. Sometimes one character in particular will feel the impact more dramatically than another. Sometimes the action is important to both characters so deciding which character should be the focal character of the scene or be the POV character, will force you to ask yourself some questions. Who has most to lose in his scene? Who has the most at stake? Whose response will arouse deeper emotion from the reader?

Having the most to lose or the most at stake means that this character will feel the greatest impact on having the new information come to light. It might mean the character will lose something like respect or his home or his job or the love of his life. Maybe he will lose his privacy by telling a dreaded secret that he’s covered for years.

Once you answer the questions above, you will have a better idea which character’s emotions, reaction, and introspection (thoughts) are most important to revealing something significant and will add to the impact of the story. Which character will relate more completely to the reader. Remember, once you selected the POV character, then the scene is viewed through that person’s eyes. What the POV character thinks, feels, knows, and senses is made known to the reader. The other characters attitudes and feelings can only be speculated.

For example, look at this scenario, a story that involves a man, Jim, who once embezzled from his employer, and his friend, Bill, relates a story to him about someone in his company who’s embezzled and he fears the problem may put scrutiny on him even though he’s innocent. We could imagine that both points of view might be important since the man relating the story fears for his well-being and if he’s a major character, the reader cares as well. Still, if the reader knows about Jim’s embezzlement, his reaction might be the one we want to witness first, because this will bring out his feelings of guilt and shame. It will make him deal with his illegal behavior, and if he’s a good friend, he may want to provide some insight for Bill, but Jim can only do that by confessing what he did in the past.

You as the author will have to decide which of these characters can best provide the shock and emotional impact on readers and can add zing to the plot. The decision is easier if the readers are not aware of Jim’s crime. You would then view the scene through Bill’s eyes with only Jim’s reactions seen by Bill and leaving Bill and the reader questioning Jim’s peculiar reaction. Later in the sequel (the scene that allows Jim to relive the scene with Bill)you will let the reader view Jim’s reaction and his quandary. He will then show the guilt and shame and his added guilt of not telling his friend the truth so that he can support him.

When you cannot decide, picture the scene from each character’s POV and look for the pros and cons. What will be gained or lost when choosing one character over the other? Which will have the greatest impact on the story for the readers? Challenging yourself to make a good decision is part of the writing process.

Making the best POV decision possible helps to deepen characterization, and it also provides what it takes to write a book that grabs the reader and holds on.

Mixing First Person and Third Person POVs in A Novel

Mixing POVs is a technique most often used by an experienced and established writer. The reasons to do this can be varied, but the reason is also purposeful and not just one of an author’s fancy to do something different.

1. To focus a story on a single major character, an author might use First Person POV and then used Third Person for all other characters even though they have major roles in the story. What this does is allow the reader to feel a deeper kinship with the "I" character. It allows a more intimate relationship and keeps the reader focus on the character who has the most at stake in the novel. While other characters POV is shared through Third Person, the reader is well aware that everything that they do and say relates back to the "I" character. This is also the job of the author to see to it that the story line stays focused on the singular character. This is a popular style in women’s fiction when the book deals with four friends, for example, but one is the prominent character.

2. To contract the present from the past, written in flashback style, the story could be written in either First Person or Third to reflect the present and use the opposite to show the past. This is not needed in a story where a single or rare scene is presented in a flashback style, and as I’ve said before, flashbacks are most effective from writers with a great deal of experience, otherwise they can fall flat. When a story is a blend of past and present, think of the latest version of the movie Titanic which opens in present day and ends in present day while the middle is set in the past, this could work well. Or a novel that opens up with an older character reflecting on her past and moves back and forth between the past and present, the First Person/Third Person technique might work.

3. A suspense novel might include the villain in First Person while the other characters are in Third Person to keep the villain identity hidden. It is easier when using the pronoun "I" to avoid using a character name. Author Marlo Schalesky used this technique in her novel, Veil of Fire.

If you have no specific purpose for using both First and Third Person in a novel, other than doing it to be different, you will be wiser to forget the technique and save it for a time when it will enhance your novel rather than confuse an editor as to why you have chosen to do this.

Omniscient POV In Fiction

Omniscient POV is a style of the past. It was used like a narrator to set a tone or mood and most often to provide backstory for the reader. Today most authors avoid this style and only a few slip into narrative omniscient POV, using the technique as if someone is watching the story act out and is sharing the action, past or present, with the reader and often before things happen. It’s the line that says, If John had known what was behind the door, he never would have opened it. I have seen lines like this in some Dean Koontz great novels as well as a few other well-known authors, but once again, when you’re earning millions, you can do just about anything you want.

The reason omniscient POV is not as effective as it was is that readers like to be involved. They like a fast paced story. They want to be given credit for having intelligence enough to figure things out and often the omniscient POV explains things to the reader without allowing them to work it out for themselves, or it gives them a heads up on what’s going to happen and takes away the surprise.

Omniscient POV, sometimes called author intrusion, sneaks into writing more often when an authors wants to provide backstory. A town’s or family’s history, descriptive passage of setting, an explanation of an event or the background of a tradition might be something the author thinks the readers should know. Instead of working it into dialogue or providing the information in a creative manner, the author tells it.

Notice the word tells. As a writer, you know that showing not telling is the way to present a story that keeps readers interested and offers them an exciting read. Readers can hear the change in the flow of the novel when the author comes to a dead stop to provide a paragraph of background information. The feel of the novel changes and the paragraph will often stick out and distract a reader.

Read this example:
Jason paused beside his friend. “This is it. My childhood home.”

Conway studied it for a moment before responding. “It looks like one of those houses in a Gothic mystery. I’ve seen them on book covers.”

The house Jason grew up in had been standing for 250 years, build by his great great grandfather. The construction of the house had taken a half-year and later, his great grandfather had added a wing. As the family grew so did the house. His grandfather had finished the house to make it what it was today, a rambling estate, now painted a drab gray with slate colored shutters.

If this information has a purpose in moving the story forward, think how much more effective it would be in dialogue.

Jason paused beside his friend. “This is it. My childhood home.” He eyed the drab gray shingles with slate colored shutters and wondered what Conway might be thinking.

Conway studied the house for a moment before responding. “It looks like one of those mansions in a Gothic mystery. I’ve seen them on book covers.”

Grinning, Jason gave a slow nod. “Maybe it should be. My family has an interesting history. My great great grandfather built the front of the house, and my great grandfather added the left wing.”

“Let me guess. The right wing was built by your grandfather.”

“Not only that.” He beckoned him forward. “Let me show you the secret passage.”

Conway’s eyes widened. “Really?”

Jason didn’t answer but lead the way.

I think you’ll agree dialogue, action and introspection adds a little more interest than the omniscient POV paragraph.

Occasionally omniscient POV can provide a brief transition, moving characters from one location to another or to show the passing of time. Three days passed before Amanda heard from her best friend, and when she did, the news was bad. This helps move the story along and sets up a hook for the reader, but it is telling and not showing. Think of this same information, but state it through the eyes of a character and see how much more effective it is.

Amanda paced the floor, the telephone pressed to her ear. She’d waited three days to hear from her best friend and now, she wished she hadn’t. The news was bad. While this is similar to the sentence above, it provides action, Amanda’s reaction, and offers the same hook to arouse the reader’s curiosity.

The decision is yours on whether omniscient POV is effective or not, but whatever you decide, use it carefully. Today’s editors want action, emotion, and a story that brings characters to life.

Third Person Singular or Multiple POV In Fiction

Third person POV is the most common form in fiction. It is the easiest to write, and most readers are accustomed to this style and can relate to it. Third person introduces characters by their names and uses the pronouns he, she, him, her, his and hers when making reference to the various characters.

Third person singular is very rare, and if an author prefers to focus on a single character in the novel, she will normally chose first person POV. Third person POV is usually written in past tense. Sally jogged along the path, feeling the morning sunshine on her face. Present tense is uncommon, yet provides a sense of thing happen now. Sally jogs along the path and feels the morning sunshine on her face. I think most readers will agree that third person past tense is their preference.

Third Person works the same as First Person except it loses the depth of familiarity with the speaker. Sally rested on a park bench to catch her breath. As I looked upward, the sun blinded her for a moment, and she didn’t see Ned Baxter approaching, in comparison to I rested on a park bench to catch my breath. As I looked upward, the sun blinded me for a moment, and I didn’t see Ned Baxter approaching. As you do in first person, you experience the scene totally through the senses—sight, sound, taste, touch, and smell—of Sally. In multiple POV, the next scene might focus on Ned as the key character who will offer the reader a different scene through his eyes and senses.

The benefits of multiple POV is to draw the reader closer to more than one character by allowing them to experience the character through their thoughts as well as their actions and dialogue. It provides readers with a deeper understanding of the characters’ motivations, goals, and conflicts which is what keeps the reader turning pages.

The same as you would in first person, it is helpful to create distinct characters who’s word selection, vocal style, mannerisms and attributes are distinct and different from other characters. Just as in real life, we all have personalities and means of communication that differ from one another. Even family members are unique. This distinction allows you to avoid an overuse of dialogue tags or helps to avoid confusing the reader with characters who are too similar.

The disadvantages of third person are the same as first. It means that one character in her POV scene cannot be certain what another character is thinking or even be certain that what a character says is the truth. She can only assume or surmise the truth, and she could be wrong.

Another caution is the possibility of slipping into the head-hopping mode which was discussed under the topic Defining Point of View. With each character distanced from the reader more than in First Person by first names and pronouns such as he and she, an author can more easily forget which POV she is in and can begin to include another character’s POV. Be cautious as you write to make sure that you stay within the POV character in each scene. When adding another POV, use a scene break, or when you are more experienced, you can use a transition sentence to make it clear you are in a new POV. This can happen within a single scene when one the POV character leaves the room for example, and another character continues the scene in a new POV.

An excellent way to test third person POV is to read it as first person. In place of the proper name and pronouns, use I, me, my or mine. You will catch the error quickly, and it will alert you, too, if you’ve gone into omniscient or author intrusion, which refers to the author explaining or telling something to the reader, rather than the POV character providing the information.

Choosing Single or Multiple First Person POV

As the author, you’ll want to give careful thought to which POV style is better to present your story to readers. Each style has its advantages and disadvantages, and those can be weighed to make a wise decision. While first person presents a more intimate view of the character, single first person POV focuses on only one character throughout the novel. Using multiple first person provides a more intimate view of all POV characters but demands each character has a unique voice as to not confuse readers.

Pros and Cons of First Person Singular
First person singular is the most intimate form of POV and provides the opportunity to know this character from the inside out, to experience her senses, her emotion, and her every thought. Example:
The squeal of car tires and thud jerked me from sleep. my heart pounded in my chest as I leaped from the bed, my legs shaking. I stumbled to the window, flung up the shade where Jack Frost’s abstract had covered the pane. I dug my nails into the icy crystals and dredged it away to clear a small peephole, unwilling to face a full view of street. I pressed my frozen fingers to my lips while my stomach convulsed, then crashed to my feet and back when I witnessed the twisted metal through the foggy glass.

In this example, you are totally in the head of the "I" voice. A man or woman, you don’t know yet, but from the language and action, you could surmise it is a female. You can experience what she’s experiencing, the noise that jolted her from her bed, the icy feeling beneath her fingernails, and the emotional reactions to her anxiety and to what she actually sees.

The benefits of this deep POV allow readers to delve into a character’s motivation, to understand her conflicts (but only as well as she understands them) as she strives toward her needs or goals. Writing in first person is the perfect POV for a novel that is based on the plight of one character who is striving to win a personal battle with the enemy, whether another person, a group, a natural disaster, a personal battle against disease or addiction, or an internal struggle, perhaps, protecting a dreadful secret that will affect the character’s life.

The major disadvantages of first person are, first, the limited view of all other characters. You can only present them through the eyes of the first person POV character. Only what she can see, hear, smell, taste, touch, and know can be shared with the reader. Readers will never experience the thoughts and private actions of other characters because they never have their own scenes. Everything must be presented from the first person POV’s perspective which means we will never know other character’s true motivation, their secrets, or their conflicts with any certainty since we can’t get into that character’s head. We can only view the character’s actions and hear the character’s dialogue through the eyes of the single first person POV character. This doesn’t provide the deep POV you can obtain from being in the other characters’ heads and seeing through their eyes. Another disadvantage is the first person POV character must be in every scene because no one else is able to show the story’s events.

Secrets are nearly impossible in single POV, as well, since you are totally in that character’s head. Unless an author is extremely creative in finding a way to hide the truth, such as: amnesia or remembering details inaccurately, the truth is evident in the character’s thoughts.

Finally, a single POV character must be compelling and dynamic. The person must hold the readers’ interest throughout the complete novel without the help of other character’s intervening in their personal scenes.

Pros and Cons of Multiple First Person
Multiple first person is not as common as third person, but it is a viable means of creating intimacy with two or more major characters in a novel. Unlike singular, it allows the reader to get to know more than one character intimately. Readers can better understand a character’s true motivation for reaching goals or obtaining personal needs and thus can grasp more fully the reason for various conflicts within the story. This style of POV provides the same advantages of third person POV but adds the more personal touch of familiarity.

The main disadvantage of using multiple first person is making each character unique. A writer’s voice is powerful and often an author’s voice can permeate a piece of writing, so while author’s voice in terms of style is still present, an author must let each character’s individuality shine through. Their reactions, actions, personalities, language choice, and verbal style must be vivid to allow the reader to know without naming the character which person’s POV he is in. This takes quality writing, and it is better to forego multiple first person POV and stick to third person POV for newer writers.

Next time, I'll talk about Third Person POV.

Defining Point Of View

Point of view (POV) is one of the most difficult elements of fiction to master. Besides knowing the kinds of POV available to you, you need to understand how to use POV in a polished and professional way, and finally the pros and cons of the various POV styles.

Readers see and experience the story of a character who owns the scene through the senses —sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch. Owning the scene means the POV character is the central focus of that scene, and it is through his or her eyes that you experience the scene. You must decide which characters need a POV—not all will—and who will be the focal character of each scene so that the reader can experience exactly what he is feeling, sensing, comprehending and living through all of the sense perceptions that occur in everyday life.

This means that the reader cannot know, nor can the character, what is going on in the head of another character. The POV character can only assume from facial expressions, dialogue or actions what is going on in the another person’s head, just as it is in real life, and the POV character cannot see what another character is doing unless they are standing in the same room.

Each scene must be from one POV character’s perspective, and this is one of the most difficult tasks for newer authors to understand and learn. Occasionally an established writer will “head-hop” which is having more than one POV character in a scene. When you’re making $200,000 dollars a year from your novels and have a huge audience, you can write your story backward if you want, but if you aren’t in that position, follow the rules that are established and considered good writing.

Read this scene and look for head-hopping:
Lucy bounded into the room, her heart pounding at the sight of Jess. He looked great, and when he opened his arms, she flew into them, smelling the out of doors on his clothes along with the familiar scent of his aftershave.

“You look beautiful, Lucy,” Jess said, controlling his emotions. How long had it been since he’d held her this way?

Hearing his words, Lucy nestled deeper, loving the strength of his voice, yet remembering the hurt she’d felt so long ago.

“Jess,” Aunt Mae said, bounding into the room. “What are you doing here?” She hadn’t seen him since he and Lucy had gone their separate ways.

“It has been a long time.”

With the troublesome recollections filling her mind, she couldn’t respond.

Three POVs are in this scene of dialogue—Lucy, Jess, and Aunt Mae. We’re certain of the speaker in the first three paragraphs of dialogue, but notice that you can’t easily relate to all of these characters because you’re not sure which one “owns” the scene. The last two lines are very confusing. We can assume that Aunt Mae didn’t say “It has been a long time.” since the line would have continued in her paragraph, but was it spoken by Lucy or Jess? And who said the final line? We can only guess. A scene loses too much when we incorporate more than one POV character, and had I added more introspection and action, the confusion and distraction would only grow.

How can you fix the excerpt about? Notice the difference when it’s rewritten.

Lucy bounded into the room, her heart pounding at the sight of Jess. He looked great, and when he opened his arms, she flew into them, smelling the out of doors on his clothes along with the familiar scent of his aftershave.

“You look beautiful, Lucy,” Jess said.

Hearing his words, Lucy nestled deeper, loving the strength of his voice, yet remembering the hurt she’d felt so long ago. She shouldn’t have given in so easily, and as she stood close to Jess, she realized he’d tensed, too.

“Jess,” Aunt Mae said, dashing into the room. “What are you doing here?”

“It has been a long time.”

Jess’s voice soften and Lucy heard a new reserve in his tone. With the troublesome recollections filling her mind, she couldn’t respond, and she waited for Aunt Mae to take over to get them out of the uncomfortable situation.

You will note this is much better. We learn more about Lucy and her feelings of discomfort and her hope that Aunt Mae will be a distraction. You can sense that she’d responded to Jess’s open arms the way she had years ago before the incident occurred that pulled them apart, and Jess, apparently, realized what he’d done as well. We aren’t certain, but Lucy’s comment that Jess had tensed makes us assume he also lost his momentum as he faced the past. Staying with one POV per scene is important for your readers and for an editor who will read your proposal.

Another error common among newer authors it that POV characters do not describe themselves. It’s not realistic and it jumps out at a discriminate reader. Using the earlier example of Jill and Brandon in my last post, notice the POV error in this short paragraph.

Jill’s pulse galloped when Brandon stepped through the doorway. His gaze trailed down the length of her wind-blown, golden-blond hair, then glided along her ivory skin, and rested on her full, coral lips. She winced as a red flush crept up her neck and covered her face.

Jill can only describe what she sees and she can’t see herself or her flush. She can only feel the heat of it. Brandon sees her wind-blown hair and the red flush. How often do you imagine your description when others look at you? You don’t. So Jill would also not refer to her golden-blond hair or full, coral lips. The description is most effective through Brandon’s eyes.

Brandon came through the doorway into the sunlight and faltered. Jill. The wind ruffled her golden, sun-speckled hair. His gaze glided over her delicate, ivory skin to her full, coral-hued lips. He warmed, watching a rosy flush creep up her hairline and spread along her cheeks.

Now the description makes sense and not only helps the readers see Jill, but it also reflects the feelings Brandon experiences looking at her.

Using a single character POV for each scene helps the reader to feel a deeper relationship with that character, and it avoids the head-hopping confusion. Remember the POV can only relate to her senses and what she knows. Her action to any other character is only speculation. The best way to correct this problem is to put yourself inside the head of the POV character so that you can write with realism. Ask if you can know or see what you’re describing. In your imagination, experiences the senses of the character. What is like to touch a rose petal? What happens when you smell bread baking in an oven? What reaction do you have fingernails on a chalkboard or the screech of tires on the highway? How does your body react when you suck the juice of a lemon or plop a hunk of cotton candy in your mouth? How do you feel when you view a sunset or stand on the edge of the Grand Canyon and view the landscape? As you write, put yourself in your character’s place and it will help you avoid making POV errors. Think real.

Mastering Point of View (POV)

Writing fiction is a multifaceted process. You will create believable characters, fashion commanding settings, capture an absorbing style, write compelling dialogue, and decide on the most effective point of view (POV).

Point of view, whoever, is one of the most difficult elements of craft to master for newer writers, and it is one of the telltale signs to editors of an amateur author. Therefore, it’s mandatory to create a saleable novel to master this writing technique.

Understanding Point-Of-View
The reason POV is so difficult to learn is its complexity. POV in fiction can be in first person, through one person’s eyes who shares the story with the reader and is seen as the "I" character in the novel, or it can be viewed through the eyes of all major characters in either first person for each character or in third person—the "he" or "she" character—using alternating scenes. Another less popular POV is omniscient POV (the story told by the author or a character outside the plot). This style was very common in the classic novels of the past.

Whichever style you use, be consistent and bring each POV character to life, making the story theirs while in their scenes so that readers care about them. Emotions, feelings, and inner voice of the characters offer the reader a deeper look into their conflicts, motivation, and goals or needs. Focusing on these aspects creates vivid, real life individuals who make readers laugh, cry, and cheer for the characters well-being and success.

Example First Person POV
My pulse galloped through my chest when Brandon stepped through the doorway. I tried not to look at him, but I couldn’t keep my eyes from his muscular, handsome form and his air of assuredness. His gaze drifted along my frame, and though I tried to hide my feelings, fiery heat crept up my neck. I longed to counter his look with my own admiring gaze, but I’d already embarrassed myself enough. What kind of woman was I to fall apart at a single admiring look from a man I barely knew?

Example Third Person POV:
Jill’s pulse galloped through her chest when Brandon stepped through the doorway. She tried not to look at him, but she couldn’t keep her eyes from his muscular, handsome form and his air of assuredness. His gaze drifted along her frame, and though she tried to hide her feelings, fiery heat crept up her neck. She longed to counter his look with her own admiring gaze, but she’d already embarrassed myself enough. What kind of woman was she to fall apart at a single admiring look from a man she barely knew?

Here, you can see the similarity of the introspection and emotion of both first and third person. Yet you can sense that first person offers a reader a greater sense of intimacy.

Blending POV Styles
To add to its complexity, some novels are written using both first person and third person POV. Usually this is done by making the main character, the "I" voice or first person character, and using third person for all other POV characters. Looking at the same scene above, remember Jill’s First Person experience:
My pulse galloped through my chest when Brandon stepped through the doorway. I tried not to look at him, but I couldn’t keep my eyes from his muscular, handsome form and his air of assuredness. His gaze drifted along my frame, and though I tried to hide my feelings, fiery heat crept up my neck. I longed to counter his look with my own admiring gaze, but I’d already embarrassed myself enough. What kind of woman was I to fall apart at a single admiring look from a man I barely knew?

In the next scene, we witness Brandon’s reaction to seeing Jill.
Third Person example:
Brandon came through the doorway into the sunlight and faltered. Jill. The wind ruffled her golden, sun-speckled hair. His gaze glided over her delicate, ivory skin to her full, coral-hued lips. He warmed, watching a rosy flush creep up her hairline and spread along her cheeks. He stifled a chuckle, sensing she wanted to respond to his gaze but wouldn’t allow herself to admit her attraction.

Whether using first or third person, single or multiple POV, you must weigh your decisions carefully. Each POV has its pros and cons. I’ll talk about that in my next entry.