Defining Point Of View

Point of view (POV) is one of the most difficult elements of fiction to master. Besides knowing the kinds of POV available to you, you need to understand how to use POV in a polished and professional way, and finally the pros and cons of the various POV styles.

Readers see and experience the story of a character who owns the scene through the senses —sight, sound, taste, smell, and touch. Owning the scene means the POV character is the central focus of that scene, and it is through his or her eyes that you experience the scene. You must decide which characters need a POV—not all will—and who will be the focal character of each scene so that the reader can experience exactly what he is feeling, sensing, comprehending and living through all of the sense perceptions that occur in everyday life.

This means that the reader cannot know, nor can the character, what is going on in the head of another character. The POV character can only assume from facial expressions, dialogue or actions what is going on in the another person’s head, just as it is in real life, and the POV character cannot see what another character is doing unless they are standing in the same room.

Each scene must be from one POV character’s perspective, and this is one of the most difficult tasks for newer authors to understand and learn. Occasionally an established writer will “head-hop” which is having more than one POV character in a scene. When you’re making $200,000 dollars a year from your novels and have a huge audience, you can write your story backward if you want, but if you aren’t in that position, follow the rules that are established and considered good writing.

Read this scene and look for head-hopping:
Lucy bounded into the room, her heart pounding at the sight of Jess. He looked great, and when he opened his arms, she flew into them, smelling the out of doors on his clothes along with the familiar scent of his aftershave.

“You look beautiful, Lucy,” Jess said, controlling his emotions. How long had it been since he’d held her this way?

Hearing his words, Lucy nestled deeper, loving the strength of his voice, yet remembering the hurt she’d felt so long ago.

“Jess,” Aunt Mae said, bounding into the room. “What are you doing here?” She hadn’t seen him since he and Lucy had gone their separate ways.

“It has been a long time.”

With the troublesome recollections filling her mind, she couldn’t respond.

Three POVs are in this scene of dialogue—Lucy, Jess, and Aunt Mae. We’re certain of the speaker in the first three paragraphs of dialogue, but notice that you can’t easily relate to all of these characters because you’re not sure which one “owns” the scene. The last two lines are very confusing. We can assume that Aunt Mae didn’t say “It has been a long time.” since the line would have continued in her paragraph, but was it spoken by Lucy or Jess? And who said the final line? We can only guess. A scene loses too much when we incorporate more than one POV character, and had I added more introspection and action, the confusion and distraction would only grow.

How can you fix the excerpt about? Notice the difference when it’s rewritten.

Lucy bounded into the room, her heart pounding at the sight of Jess. He looked great, and when he opened his arms, she flew into them, smelling the out of doors on his clothes along with the familiar scent of his aftershave.

“You look beautiful, Lucy,” Jess said.

Hearing his words, Lucy nestled deeper, loving the strength of his voice, yet remembering the hurt she’d felt so long ago. She shouldn’t have given in so easily, and as she stood close to Jess, she realized he’d tensed, too.

“Jess,” Aunt Mae said, dashing into the room. “What are you doing here?”

“It has been a long time.”

Jess’s voice soften and Lucy heard a new reserve in his tone. With the troublesome recollections filling her mind, she couldn’t respond, and she waited for Aunt Mae to take over to get them out of the uncomfortable situation.

You will note this is much better. We learn more about Lucy and her feelings of discomfort and her hope that Aunt Mae will be a distraction. You can sense that she’d responded to Jess’s open arms the way she had years ago before the incident occurred that pulled them apart, and Jess, apparently, realized what he’d done as well. We aren’t certain, but Lucy’s comment that Jess had tensed makes us assume he also lost his momentum as he faced the past. Staying with one POV per scene is important for your readers and for an editor who will read your proposal.

Another error common among newer authors it that POV characters do not describe themselves. It’s not realistic and it jumps out at a discriminate reader. Using the earlier example of Jill and Brandon in my last post, notice the POV error in this short paragraph.

Jill’s pulse galloped when Brandon stepped through the doorway. His gaze trailed down the length of her wind-blown, golden-blond hair, then glided along her ivory skin, and rested on her full, coral lips. She winced as a red flush crept up her neck and covered her face.

Jill can only describe what she sees and she can’t see herself or her flush. She can only feel the heat of it. Brandon sees her wind-blown hair and the red flush. How often do you imagine your description when others look at you? You don’t. So Jill would also not refer to her golden-blond hair or full, coral lips. The description is most effective through Brandon’s eyes.

Brandon came through the doorway into the sunlight and faltered. Jill. The wind ruffled her golden, sun-speckled hair. His gaze glided over her delicate, ivory skin to her full, coral-hued lips. He warmed, watching a rosy flush creep up her hairline and spread along her cheeks.

Now the description makes sense and not only helps the readers see Jill, but it also reflects the feelings Brandon experiences looking at her.

Using a single character POV for each scene helps the reader to feel a deeper relationship with that character, and it avoids the head-hopping confusion. Remember the POV can only relate to her senses and what she knows. Her action to any other character is only speculation. The best way to correct this problem is to put yourself inside the head of the POV character so that you can write with realism. Ask if you can know or see what you’re describing. In your imagination, experiences the senses of the character. What is like to touch a rose petal? What happens when you smell bread baking in an oven? What reaction do you have fingernails on a chalkboard or the screech of tires on the highway? How does your body react when you suck the juice of a lemon or plop a hunk of cotton candy in your mouth? How do you feel when you view a sunset or stand on the edge of the Grand Canyon and view the landscape? As you write, put yourself in your character’s place and it will help you avoid making POV errors. Think real.